THE DAILY DUMPSTER SURPASSES 1.0 SUBSCRIBERS

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the local media landscape, The Daily Dumpster has officially tripled its projected year-end growth by securing a single, verified subscriber.

The individual, identified only as “Ed,” reportedly signed up accidentally while trying to find a recipe for low-sodium chili. Sources close to Ed say he lives in a small apartment with a mouse he has named “The Landlord” and a collection of vintage ham radio parts that may or may not be sentient.

“We are thrilled to have Ed on board,” said a spokesperson for the Dumpster while eating a cold taco over a Sennheiser 416. “His commitment to accidentally clicking on things is exactly the demographic we are looking for. We look forward to providing Ed with content he will almost certainly never read.”

At press time, Ed was reportedly looking for the ‘Unsubscribe’ button, which we have hidden behind a complex series of riddles

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