CHARIZARD CRIME WAVE: VAULT HEIST PROVES WE’RE ALL STILL JUST IN THE THIRD GRADE

The Daily Dumpster Staff

A professional “vault” in Ohio was hit this weekend. The thieves bypassed high-end security, ignored the cash, and walked away with a collection of rare Pokémon cards valued at half a million bucks.

[OUR TAKE] We live in a world where a piece of shiny cardboard with a fire-breathing lizard on it is worth more than a three-bedroom house in the Midwest. If you’re a thief and you’re stealing “Pocket Monsters” instead of diamonds, you’ve officially given up on adulthood—but you’ve probably got a better ROI. The economy is a fever dream

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